Lunatic Feminist Devises BRILLIANT New Plan After Discovering No One Wants To Marry Her

I thought I had heard it all when it came to weird relationships – polygamy, polyamory, pansexuality, men marrying pillows, women marrying the ocean. But this might just beat them all.

Apparently, the newest way to alienate your family and get yourself on the certifiably crazy list is sologamy – marrying yourself.

I guess these (mostly) women can’t get anyone else to take them (or stay with them), so they’ve decided to take the plunge and say “I do” to themselves.

There is even an incredibly sentimental I Married Me Self-Wedding In-A-Box kit that can be purchased for the bargain price of $230. It includes a ring – “a symbol of your commitment to yourself and to give you daily reminders that you are fabulous,” ceremony instructions (because of course your closest friends should be there to witness this lunacy), vows, and 24 affirmation cards (because what a person marrying themselves really needs is some extra affirmation).

Sophie Tanner, one of the definitely stable feminist women who has embarked on this empowering journey of self-love, described her magical day to Stylist magazine:

The sun shone brightly and all 20 bridesmaids showed up for a quick dance rehearsal and some bubbles. Then we picked up our sunflowers and processed through the Pavilion Gardens to the sound of whooping crowds. Kendrick Lamar’s I Love Myself blasted over our portable speakers as we danced past the lawns.

Yep, that sounds about right.

I mean, on one hand this seems like a pretty sweet deal. You get the dress, the cake, the presents, and you get to spend the rest of your life with probably the only person in the world who can actually stand being with you for that long.

But seriously – how far do we have to ride this crazy train until someone finally says, “Enough is enough?”

H/T: The Stream

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