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The Reason Feminists Now Hate Nail Polish Is Why Nobody Should Take Feminists Seriously

Enough said.

In an oversensitive world, apparently even the names of nail polish can be sexist and patriarchal.

Here’s an idea: If you don’t like it, don’t buy it. If it’s as popular as you say it is, other women are totally fine with it. If they’re ok with it, who are you to say that they shouldn’t be?

I’m confused. Don’t feminists say they’re all for women making their own choices, or are they only for women making choices if it’s what they want them to choose?

From The NY Post:

“I’ve never really understood the point of meticulously painting your nails, but even so, I’m surprised by how hard cosmetic companies work to make it sound interesting. From Russia to Brazil, many women have faced tough choices between colors like “Rose Petal,” “Wedding Pearl” and “Pink Champagne.”

Creatively naming products is a crucial part of the nail polish industry. Instead of introducing a new color and calling it by its Pantone or hexadecimal code — “Could you pass me that bottle of #FF001E, please?” — companies baptize each shade with a poetic epithet, like “Dark Cherry,” “Coral Sunset,” “Evening Sand” or “Coney Island Cotton Candy.” So far, pretty harmless.

However, in my imaginary history of cosmetics, the companies quickly exhausted their lists of common objects with discernible colors, opening the way for a symbolist phase: “Fiji Weejee Fawn,” “Seychelles Seashells,” “Moon Over Mumbai,” or “Up the Amazon Without a Paddle,” a pink with coral and orange undertones that doesn’t make any sense for a South American. (Although it’s far better than OPI’s “Kiss Me, I’m Brazilian,” which is insulting.)

This exotic nonsense was the beginning of a descent to the darkest shades of sexism and misogyny that we see nowadays on the display racks of the nail salon.

… nothing could restrain the enthusiasm of the nail polish namers, who recently decided to take a more dangerous route. It began with raunchier epithets such as “Phallic,” “Second Base,” “Between the Sheets” and “Orgasm.” Then it quickly escalated to Naughty Nailz’s XXX collection, which includes “Creamy Climax Dream” and a host of others, too naughty to print.

What those new names seem to imply is that there’s only one reason for a woman to paint her nails: grabbing the attention of a good, handsome man — maybe even a millionaire. That’s how we arrived in our glittery golden age of misogynist nail polish names that are not only silly, but also reinforce sexist stereotypes.

After decades of research, nail polish designers have apparently come to this 19th-century conclusion: Women are vain, daydreaming creatures with a weak sense of humor and no ability to perceive that they’re being manipulated. Our life is entirely devoted to men. We need to hold a guy so desperately that we put all of our efforts in one pricey bottle of a sparkling magic potion that our manicurist applies while casting a voodoo love spell. If we choose “Romantically Involved” or “Happy Ending,” instead of a mere “Orange Orange,” maybe we’ll get lucky tonight.”

H/T: The NY Post

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