There are times when you are reading something and you decide that if try to continue reading you’ll risk wanting to bash your head against your own desk.
In times like the one I just described, you’d really wish that someone would read over the nonsense for you, then give you some of the key points so that you don’t have to deal with reading the entire article filled with dribble yourself.
Well, this time, I foolishly volunteered as tribute.
The piece, titled “10 Things Every Intersectional Feminist Should Ask On a First Date” from everydayfeminism.com is as frustratingly awful as you’d expect.
First off, the author, Lara Witt, started off the article with the 6 words “As a queer femme of color…”
In case you skipped the first line, don’t worry, she refers to that label in almost every paragraph of every point, but let’s press on.
“As a queer femme of color, I keep close relationships with people who go beyond allyship; they’re true accomplices in the fight against white supremacy, queerphobia, and misogyny. If you’re not going to support marginalized folks, then we can’t be friends, let alone date. The personal is political. Beyond the lovely cushioning, happiness and support that we receive from our platonic relationships (which are, in all honesty, soul-feeding and essential), feminists also date! But there are questions we have to ask before we get close to someone.”
Okay, so glazing over all the crazy idealistic stuff, what she’s essentially saying is it’s good to be with someone at least somewhat similar to you idealistically.
Now, let’s dive into her top 10:
1. Do you believe that Black Lives Matter? 2. What are your thoughts on gender and sexual orientation? 3. How do you work to dismantle sexism and misogyny in your life? 4. What are your thoughts on sex work? 5. Are you a supporter of the BDS movement? 6. What is your understanding of settler colonialism and indigenous rights? 7. Do you think capitalism is exploitative? 8. Can any human be illegal? 9. Do you support Muslim Americans and non-Muslim people from Islamic countries? 10. Does your allyship include disabled folks?
You know the sad thing? I actually agree with her on some of these points. Why is it not okay to pay someone for sex (prostitution,) but completely okay for us to pay someone to have sex on the condition that you film and distribute it (porn.) Even if I’m not partaking in the acts, it seems like a strange system.
That being said, if I was talking to a girl on a first date and we somehow got on the topic of sex work (how tho?) and it turned out she was completely against it existing, it’s not like I’d completely write the girl off.
You’re never going to find someone who agrees with you on every single thing, and honestly, provided that one isn’t trying to utilize said sex workers, that’s not a terribly important topic in a relationship.
If you want to read the whole list with a few paragraphs defending each point because you’re a sucker for that stuff, here you go, you weirdo.